To understand is to love and to love is to forgive. Virtue easy to explain, difficult to apply, which is only achieved by understanding each other's world. If we strive to understand, we will be able not only to preserve, but to increase our love.
Finally they separated, they had lived as a couple for some years; Apparently they were happy.
In the opinion of others, it seems that nothing was going to separate them; but normally what happens in the intimacy of a couple nobody knows, because they have not lived it. It is easy to judge others, but how difficult it is to understand the world of living meanings.
Their relationship had become an endless tragedy, they argued for everything and each day they were offended and humbled more. The purpose was to prove to the other that he was wrong and in a few things they agreed. Of course, his good times every day were less.
There are, of course, reasons to love, as well as reasons to stop doing so. Everything is by convergence and, with more or less participation, both contributed to destroy their relationship.
When conversing, separately, with each one, one had to listen to the barbarities he said of the other, to such a degree that anyone would wonder how it was possible for them to endure such hell. One concluded that it was stupid to continue supporting that situation.
The last time I saw them, many years ago, was in a restaurant; I watched them from afar, without even daring to greet them; they were altered, like two fighting cocks in a death match.
Suddenly, he stood up, and without more, left the place. She stood alone, staring at her empty glass, and with a felt tear on her cheek.
Both had wanted, in their stubbornness, for the other to change. Perhaps the two reasonably won the battle, but they also lost their hearts.
What they had built so long, they finally managed to destroy it. When reason beats the heart, it ends with love, again I will talk about the balance of decisions made wisely not with rebellion.
When reason wins, there is a risk that logic will end the illusion, and without further justifying the decisions, we forget that the first manifestation of love is force, the courage to fight with ourselves for what we love.
Why do we strive to find that the other changes if we know within ourselves that this desire is to please us and not for the positive growth of the other?
Would you like your partner to change?
Do you yearn for others to change so that you are satisfied?
Would you be able to accept others as they are, without trying to change them?
Do you strive to understand the other by putting yourself in his place?
After several years, I met one of the protagonists of our history. He told me: "I sincerely acknowledge that I was the wrong one, I had idealized my partner and I wanted him to behave according to my dream.
I didn't love her but an illusion that I had, without realizing that I was a real person, with potentialities and limitations. Now I know I wasn't prepared to love her; I lacked, I confess, ability to understand; I didn't know what was important to her.
I understand now that if we had both had a shared dream, a common goal; If we had looked in the same direction, we would have had the strength to fight for our love with wisdom, respect and prudence.
Now that so much time has passed, I would like to retrace the path and once again have the opportunity to love that wonderful being that I lost because of my stubbornness. "
Interestingly, in the past few days I met the other party, and I heard surprised how, over the years, their experience had turned into rancor; His resentment was so acute that he never ceased to classify his former partner as stupid and stupid.
I realized that his spirit was covered with a material so hard, that everything in it spoke of bitterness; I sincerely wished, within me, that one day I could assimilate their own mistakes, and perhaps, when that moment came, I could also retrace the path and rediscover love.
Maybe that may or may not happen, what is real is that as long as we do not try to understand the other, forgiveness will not come and love will move away from us. To understand is to love and to love is to forgive.
Virtue easy to explain, difficult to apply, which is only achieved by understanding each other's world. If we strive to understand, we will be able not only to preserve, but to increase our love.
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